What I See When I See Me

In the mirror I don’t like what I see
I sit and stare for hours
Hoping the image will change
Willing myself to be beautiful

Flaws and scars make up
The whole and ugliness
Pours from my veins
Staining my fingertips

I trace the outline of my lips
Pursing them in displeasure
They don’t look like they should
No part of me does

Sometimes when he looks at me
I feel beautiful
But when I look in the mirror I see
That his eyes were lying

Fae

She blew a kiss that sparkled
With a trail of glitter
Like faerie dust in a children’s book
With all the colours of her dreams

With a swish of her skirt
She turned and ran
Bare feet lighting upon
Soft green earth

Dandelion fuzz clung to her hair
A delicate mantle
Dancing in the gentle breeze
Of the golden afternoon

With her eyes closed
She smiled into the warmth of the sun
And the promise of dreams
About to come true

All At Once

There was light in your eyes
And it poured into mine
As we swayed with the dizzying motion
Of falling in love

You took my hands to steady me
Your touch sent sparks through my soul
All at once I was floating high
With my feet firmly on the ground

I couldn’t catch my breathe
And yet I breathed so deeply
You were the air in my lungs
And the blood thrumming in my veins

The world contracted and expanded
With every kiss and caress
I saw at once, nothing and everything
As I rose and fell in your sighs

Rise

Broken down, defeated
They think they know me best
Helpless and useless, they say
Poison arrows that strike my chest

One by one they turned from me
They denied my right to love
Choking on their bitterness
They gave their final shove

My upturned face before them
Pain borne in silent screams
I wonder now if that wretched sight
Ever haunts their bloated dreams?

I vowed I would not stay broken
I swore never to believe their lies
I know now I am Someone
Now watch me fucking rise.



Inspired by my friend, Erik.

Phoenix

She set a fire in her soul
It danced upon her heart
It burned with intense passion
And tore her world apart

The fire consumed the darkness
The bitterness and hate
Illuminating the depths of her
Altering the course of fate

The flames burned ever brighter
They scorched away her fear
As sparks of hope ignited
And her future became clear

She blazed in triumphant glory
The fire at one with her soul
She stepped from her past of ashes
Renewed, complete and whole

Demise

I was broken and discarded
Thrown away like nothing at all
Beaten into submission
By the same hands that broke my fall

My mind a jumbled wasteland
My soul hidden from the light
A heart too withered and loveless
In a world of endless night

My body a crumbled playground
For the monsters roaming at will
My blood a sweet elixir
Who hasn’t had their fill?

I clawed with dirt stained fingers
At the cage of my demise
Where dreams are shattered, under
The weight of my own lies.

Gods

Light pours in and burns our eyes
Tears blurring faces before us,
Smudges of colour and wavering lines
With murmured voices and accusing tones

We hold fast against them,
Hearts wrapped tightly around whispered promises
Hands cradling sweet confessions
To ward off the void

But sometimes we feel so lonely,
Like a light flickering in an empty room
We binge on broken promises,
On poison tongued confessions

In rooms where mirrors
Reveal monsters
And the broken
Are made Gods.